‘Twas the Night Before Monday, or “Black Boogers”

‘Twas the night before Monday,
And all through our house,
Many creatures were stirring
(But hopefully no mouse).

Mommy had been sick
For days and for days,
So a home teacher was called,
To help ease her malaise.

Mommy lit a candle,
So bright and so sweet,
In hopes the aroma
Would be a welcome treat.

The wick started smoking,
But only so slightly.
Though the flame rose dramatically,
The glow was inviting.

The candle burned brightly,
The wax glowed so red
As if to convince her
She had nothing to dread.

The home teacher came,
A blessing was given,
And mommy retreated
For a 10-minute heaven.

Mommy’s greatest wish
Was a nice, warm, cozy bath,
And she read and relaxed,
Forgetting time as it passed.

That candle kept burning,
The girls were alarmed,
But daddy assured them
It would do them no harm.

Its’ flame, how it twinkled!
Its’ warm scent, how merry!
It was easy to look past
The smoke that poured from its belly.

When the warm bath was finally drained,
Mommy was shocked to see what remained!
A thick black ring had formed ’round her bath.
She wondered what caused it, but no answer came.

Away to the living room
It was time to go,
As the Christmas Devotional was starting,
And it’s such a nice show.

When what to her wondering eyes
Should appear,
But black boogers streaming
From little nostrils so dear.

Away to the kleenex
She flew like a flash!
Wiped four little black noses
And threw tissues in the trash!

“What could have caused this?”
Mommy wondered inside,
When she saw her dear husband
Blowing his own nose aside.

Mommy blew her nose, too,
It seemed only right,
Only to discover her own black boogers,
Much to her fright!

Then she saw it:

That very large flame,
So lively and quick,
She knew in a moment
It must be that wick.

The candle was extinguished,
And more noses blown,
But the damage is widespread,
The house is coming to show.

A black ring in the tub,
Black boogers galore,
Even the dishes are all black,
Though in cupboards they were stored.

The countertops, once white,
Are now gray,
Save for the little white circles
Where the cups lay that day.

So that candle shall never
Again burn in our home.
But it did have such a nice smell,
It’s sad to see it go.

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