Contentment

If you read my blog I suppose you’ve noticed the emotional tonnage I’ve been hauling.  I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.  It’s precisely what propels me onward and upward.  It’s what speaks to my soul and cries out that there MUST be a change.

It is so easy to get down about what isn’t changing in this moment, though.  Matt and I are all about acting and progressing, but the days themselves seem to crawl by without accomplishing what we want.

I’m working on trying to find contentment in the moment, even though I am constantly working to progress beyond it.  It’s a tricky balance.

I could never have imagined a life of such fulfillment.  But I also could never have imagine that that fulfillment would push me harder to do more.

I don’t really know how else to describe it right now.  But I needed to write it down today.  So many things are changing in our lives.  I know I write that a lot, but it’s true.  I feel like we have so many pivotal moments lately that I know will shape the rest of our lives.  I get so anxious for the rest of our lives to get here.

But I know that this part, right now, is crucial.  The journey part.  So I am trying to “joy in the journey,” while pushing on towards all that lays beyond it.

I hope that I can look back and be happy with how I journeyed.  I can’t say that about other times in my life…but I am trying harder this time.

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