Little things

Lots of little things going on these days.

Lots of little changes for all of us.

This guy is busy.  He’s working hard and doing really well with his own business.  He’s great at what he does, and I am really, really proud of him.  I really, really Love him, too.

I love having him around all day.  Ever since I met him, I’ve dreamt of being near him all day.  It’s amazing to me, everyday, to finally have that.

Me.  I’m getting older.  I really don’t even mean that in a bad way.  I’m gaining weight where I once kept it off.  Wrinkles and gray hairs are becoming more prominent than not (even though they aren’t as obvious in pictures, quite yet).

There have been moments when I have really struggled with the added weight on my body and the age showing in my face.  My friends at different places in their lives are all losing weight and looking younger.  But then there are moments of acceptance, when I see all that this body has miraculously given, and that it is now passing through a normal aging process.  I’ve never been too afraid of getting older.  But it is a bittersweet process to be starting.

My oldest girl.  She is getting older, too, and if I watch, I can see the line she now straddles between childhood and young lady-hood.  It makes me sad.  But it also propels me to try harder every day, so that I can give her the best I possibly can, while I still can.

She is dependable, tender, and kind.  She is very strong and very emotional. :)  More and more, she enjoys solitary bike rides and time alone.  I know she is contemplating life and her place in it more and more.  She is so quick to forgive and understand.

My quiet girl.  She watches with her big eyes and absorbs everything.  She is different than most girls her age.  She is not interested in the same things.  She is a dreamer and she is usually far away somewhere.  I love her dreams.

I can’t wait to see what she does with her life.  She is very artistic and observant.  She has a big imagination and a tender little heart.  She is determined and has a very bright hope for her dreams. She truly believes she can do or be anything.  She inspires me to dream bigger and talk quieter.

Sweet, kind, gentle child.  Her large eyes and quiet spirit are a gentling influence in our home.  It is very, very hard to be near her and do or say something wrong or unkind.  She is the conscience of our home.  She is as pure as the day she was born.

She is also intensely bright.  She has a surprisingly sharp and dry wit, and her dad loves to make her laugh.  She is my most timid child, but this also makes her at times my bravest child.  She has the true faith of a child, and it is very developed.  I hope she will keep it always.

My happy, happy girl.  She is the one who was put here on earth to make people happy.  No one can possibly be near her and not smile.  She is kind and sweet.  She laughs and says the funniest things I have ever heard.  She imagines things that no one else does.  She is always thinking, and what comes out of her mouth usually makes me want to stop whatever it is I am doing and become like a child again.

She is finally losing teeth and somehow that has made her finally feel like she is moving into the big girls’ club.  She is so happy.  Her two happy places are right next to me, and lost in her little imagination off on her own.  She swings back and forth between daydreams and reality all day long, but her dreams are stronger most days.  I love her for that.

My wild, wild girl.  She is determined to be heard from the moment she wakes up.  If I don’t watch, she just seems difficult.  But when I really see her, I see something much deeper.  Her eyes can read your soul, and she knows if you are genuine or not.  She is kind and so, so loving.  She wants so badly to succeed at what she tries.  She is the most determined person I have ever known, and though that makes for a difficult toddler, I secretly smile to myself, knowing that no one will ever, ever be able to make her do something that she does not want to do.

Lately, she is regressing just slightly in one little area, which has actually been wonderful and sweet.  She is such a big girl and has pushed so hard to catch up with her older sisters, that I don’t feel like she stayed little for very long.  She has a funny little way lately of trying to nuzzle into a pillow or into me, trying to suckle like a baby.  I don’t mind.  I know she’s just figuring things out and she’ll grow back out of it all too quickly.

My angel baby.  My reminder that heaven is close.  She is such a gentle soul, yet so very strong.  She has been through so much and she is so happy.  She makes us laugh as she tries so hard to keep up with the big girls.  She is pure and perfect.

Right now she has a thing for shoes and babies.  She usually has both.  She is so quiet sometimes, and other times, she makes herself heard above all the rest of us.  She says “STUCK!!” whenever she can’t do what she is trying to do.  She is my constant reminder that there is more.

There are times I truly cannot believe that this is my life.  I feel like I will be trying to deserve it all my life.

Sure, it’s hard.  Most days are just plain messy.  But I just love it so much, because at the end of every day, we love each other, we forgive, and we try again.  I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.


3 Responses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *