Perspective

My mind has been in a blur.  I’ve been focusing so much on what I want for my life and for myself.  And though it’s all on things that are good, I find tonight that I have still been focusing too much on myself.

Perspective.  It’s an incredible thing.

Today was hard.  I felt so sad.  I didn’t know what to do about so many things.  And those little things were all I could think about.

But tonight was incredible.  So much so that I really don’t deserve it.

I don’t usually write about this, but I’m going to tonight.  Thursday nights are my nights with the women at the shelter I volunteer at.  I don’t usually write about them because these women aren’t subjects or clients or anything else like that to me.

They’re people.  They’re women.  They’re mothers.  They’re my friends.  And as much as I always go there hoping to help them, how is it that they are always the ones who teach and help me?

Incredible.

I went there tonight so wrapped up in my own little sorrows.  I didn’t know how I could possibly lead a class, because I felt like I didn’t have anything left today.  I lit the candles and started the music with a quiet prayer in my heart, just hoping beyond hope for strength beyond my own.

And then the women came in.  Each is beautiful.  Each has her own story to tell.  Each becomes my friend within minutes if she isn’t already.

Tonight I needed them so much.  I was filled.  I felt like my prayer was answered, not by a feeling of strength sent from Heaven, but by divine women around me.  We breathed, we stretched, we laughed, we talked about things only women talk about.

They have been in some of the lowest of conditions that this country has to offer.  And yet, they are happy.  They smile, they laugh, they love, and they throw their arms around me with the true joy of womanhood and friendship.

I have everything.  They have literally nothing.

And yet, they are glad.  They are content to know that after I leave they will still be able to snuggle close to their babies in a creaky bunk bed that night.  Because they still have their babies.  They are so glad that soon they might have their own “home,” even if that home is in the projects.  Because it is still a home to them.

Thank you, sweet friends.  Thank you, sweet perspective.

Tonight, because of them, and regardless of anything I have been worried about lately, I can truly, truly say, Blessed am I.

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