Finding Christmas

I had so many plans for this Christmas.

So few of them have panned out in any way, and the few that have, have been in the blessed hands of Grandma.

This year, I have had to scale back/give up plans for making gifts for my girls.  There has been no rush of Christmas baking for friends, no caroling at doors.  Halls have not been decked.

It’s been a month of letting go and accepting.  In more ways that just with Christmas.

Matt put the tree up the other day, and with it, somehow, it is Christmas.

Though everything will be remarkably simple this year, somehow, excitement and joy have filled the girls, and Christmas is in the air.

As I sat looking at the tree the other day, my mom reminded me that the first Christmas wasn’t “perfect,” either.

Mary probably dreamed of giving birth amidst loving women and clean linens, rather than in a humble stable.  Joseph probably felt the utmost agony at creating for his young wife a bed of straw to give birth in.

But that was the most perfect Christmas of all.

“Shepherds would soon arrive and later, wise men from the East.  Later yet the memory of that night would bring Santa Claus and Frosty and Rudolph—and all would be welcome.

But first and forever there was just a little family, without toys or trees or tinsel. With a baby—that’s how Christmas began.”

-Jeffery R. Holland

With a baby.

That’s what our Christmas is, this year, too.  All about a baby.

I find myself being grateful for this Christmas.  I have been in pain.  I have been sad.  I have been a little lost.

But more than anything, this time of slowing down and humbling myself has brought me closer than ever to that baby for whom we celebrate Christmas, in addition to my own sweet gift, coming soon.

Blessed am I.

5 Responses

  1. The first Christmas wasn’t perfect either. I love that.

    December 20, 2011 at 4:02 pm

  2. Ann, you have truly caught on to what this season is all about. You will never forget this difficult yet magnificent Christmas. What a blessing that is.

    December 21, 2011 at 7:00 am

  3. Debbie Domenici

    Isn’t it wonderful when we have family that can help us when we need them and they can help us get through our trials. You have truly been blessed with a wonderful husband, daughters and mom. I pray that you and this little one you are carrying are comforted and watched over and she arrives safely when she is supposed to be here. You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. We love and miss you dearly!!

    December 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm

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  5. Not enough people find Christmas anymore… It’s inspiring to see that you’ve found it, even when you’re not feeling well–maybe because you’re not feeling well.

    I love you!

    December 22, 2011 at 9:40 am

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