Someone to watch

Last night I fell asleep before I had planned to, exhausted and worried about the many things on my mind, great and small.

I curled up next to my wee one to feed her, and I drifted off.

I dreamed the sweetest dream.  So sweet I didn’t want to leave it when the sun peeked through the blinds this morning.

I was back at my Grandma’s home again.  The sun was hot on the southern Utah rocks.  I burst through the screen door to throw my arms around her, and she wrapped me in her sweet hug and said what she always did: “My Ann.”

It was such a simple dream.  I played like I used to by her clothes line and looked off the edge of the porch.  I sat on her bed and looked at her pictures.

Right before I woke up, she looked at me with her little smile and said, “Don’t worry, Ann.  It will all work out.”  She laughed her soft little laugh and hugged me with her warm arms.  I hugged my Grandpa’s thin body and it was over.

It was like a visit to Heaven.  I awoke this morning to all of the little troubles I had left when I drifted off the night before.  Some have gotten a little better through the day, some worse.  And I still don’t know how most of them will be okay.

Each time I start to feel afraid, I remember her.  I remember what she said to me.

I remember that I felt her close to me not long ago, in the depths of my sorrow and fear.  In my little corner of NICU I had smelled her sweet smell and felt her close by.

We are given more help than we realize.  I think that hope is closer than we know.

So I’m going to keep telling myself those words: “Don’t worry, Ann.  It will all work out.”


7 Responses

  1. Ruth

    So happy for your dream! She was and is an angel!

    April 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

  2. Jessie

    I miss her so deeply. I’m glad that you can feel her so close.

    April 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

  3. I’ve been feeling Grandpa very close lately :) We are very very very blessed :)

    April 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

  4. Matt

    Reminds me very much of a talk by Richard G. Scott just a week or two ago. :)

    Everything will be alright :)

    Love you!

    April 12, 2012 at 3:52 pm

  5. it WILL all work out. love you!

    April 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

  6. Liesel

    I know, a lot of the time it is hard to see how it will work out. I’m so glad you had such a sweet dream and can feel your Grandma’s love. I am sure she is watching over you.

    April 16, 2012 at 10:36 am

  7. Debbie Domenici

    I am sorry you are continuing to go through so many difficulties. I wish we lived down the street so I could be there to help more.

    April 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

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