One amazing year

I was so worried about having a “holiday baby.”  I remember worrying about it when my labor started, before things got rough.

But it has been a magical thing…Christmas ends, but the excitement and magic don’t disappear quite so fast.

We have this sweet babe to thank:

Her life has only lasted a year, but as we celebrated her birthday a few days ago, I couldn’t help but be amazed at the amazing life it has been so far.

She has four teeth on top and three on bottom, with no fourth anywhere in sight, though her molars are already trying to come through. :)

She loves to clap when everyone else is excited.

She shakes her head and laughs when she crawls.

She gives the best two-armed, wrap-around-your-neck hugs in the world.

She still has the remnant of a birthmark between her eyes that reminds me of the first time I saw her. :)

She absolutely adores her dad.

She has endured and thrived after a very difficult illness (the effects of which still plague her).

Her spirit is sweet and happy.

She is a consistently open window to heaven. :)

She is perfect purity.

Though she is tiny, I can feel her faith and trust.

Her birth was an absolute miracle.

She is a constant reminder to me of faith.  There are deeply personal and spiritual things connected to her life and birth that have completely changed us these past two years.  Her birth marks a time and decision in my life that have required intense faith.

My heart has cried out this year.  Very few people know the depth of sorrow I have felt and the constant wondering about questions and answers.  To try to explain it to others has been pointless, because we are all different and we each feel differently about each thing in our lives.  There have been facets to our story that are too personal and sacred to share with most people, and that makes it harder, too.  It has been easy to feel that no one truly understands.  But it is incredible how those times of loneliness can finally turn you completely to the One who does truly understand.

“Only He knows how painful this process has been. But He also knows how grateful I am for the process, because it has sealed my heart to Him.” – Sheri Dew

Each time I look into those pure eyes or hear that angel laugh, I am reminded of this process, this deeply personal process over the past year.  I feel a surge of gratitude for all that I have been given.  I am so grateful for this sweet, perfect life in our home.

Blessed am I!

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