Being who you really are

This move has been an interesting change in my life. I am certain it was right, and I can see the hand of the Lord in our lives for a very long time leading up to this. I also feel little glimpses of the future, and I know this move is a crucial key in that future. I feel absolute peace about it. However, as with anything that is right or worth doing at all, there has been intense opposition in our lives and a lot of trials. There have been many things that would make it easy to fear right now. I think a lot of us feel that way these days.

This move has stretched me to the very edge of what I am in many ways. We have been stretched to our financial limit and it has been a great trial, but a lesson in simplicity as well. Trying to move without Matt was exhausting and very difficult, but taught me tremendous things, like asking for help from those around me and the joy that comes from being served by those who love you, and also finding strength within myself I didn’t realize was there. Beyond that, I also learned that the Atonement truly can and does make up for what we lack.

Now I find myself being stretched again…this new area that we live in is filled with so many good and successful people that I find the temptation thoughts coming…the thoughts that whisper that I could not possibly fit here, belong here, or make any difference here. Feelings of inadequacy, the “who do you think you are?” kind of feelings. Thoughts that whisper how easy it would be to hide here and not try. That is the last thing I want to do, but it is so hard to step outside of the comfortable and try to be brave. I began reading a book this weekend that my sister had sent me, called Something More. The author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, said something in the very first chapter that I found wonderful:

I wish I’d known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman. What a difference it would have made! I wish I’d known that I was born a courageous woman; I’ve spent so much of my life cowering. How many conversations would I have not only started but finished if I’d known I possessed a warrior’s heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms.

It reminded me of something I heard Sheri Dew say once: “Pray to see yourself as Christ sees you.” He knows who we really are, who we’re really meant to be. Not only that, but He’ll help us get there, too!

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