Watching Clouds, Seeing Myself

Saturday, the eight of us spent hours in the yard, lying on the grass, watching the clouds roll by.

We watched the gray overtake the white as the hot breeze became warm wind.

We talked quietly and dreamed.

Some dreams were even the of the “eyes closed” variety.

I marveled at this family of mine.

This beautiful, beautiful family.

Sometimes you are given those glimpses…those brief, perfect moments when you see everything as it is.

One thing I truly saw was this wee one:

Bare against the wind, unrestrained.  (Hating clothing of any kind at the moment.)

She fits into our family so perfectly.

She is wild and deep-feeling.

She has hard days since she got out of the hospital.  We have all been trying to help.

She also has deep, intense days where everything is wonderful.  Days when I know that she knows she is here for a reason.  Her life is so precious.

Sometimes I pray to understand her, so I can help her.

When I watched her on Saturday, I suddenly had a moment that made me catch my breath.

I could see myself.

This wild, glorious little woman is mine.  She is me, she is Matt, she is us.

 

3 Responses

  1. Debbie Domenici

    All of your girls are the perfect mix of you and Matt! They are so beautiful! Can’t wait to meet all of them! Love you guys!

    July 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

  2. I so know what you mean. Sometimes that is all the answer we need: that they are US. Then we can know how to be there for their little beings.

    July 18, 2012 at 8:22 pm

  3. Rachel B.

    I know she’s a bit younger than Claire, but reading this so reminds me of her. Difficult, strong, and doing their own thing. She is so darling. All your girls are!

    July 19, 2012 at 10:01 pm

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