Letting Go

We are moving.

This is a decision that has consumed us over the past few months.  The decisions to move, then where to move, and what we should do as one difficulty after another has arisen have all been pretty consuming.

In the end, the decision and the place we have been led to are so right for us and so perfect for our family that no other thought can counter the peace I feel.

I have felt a bittersweet swell of pain, however, each time I remember each dear part of us that we will be leaving here in Colorado.  These things have molded and shaped us over the past years and have changed us entirely.

This city.  It is harsh and cruel, yet so sheltering and kind, all at once.

This city houses the ACC where I have seen all the horror and all of the beauty of humanity in one place.  And the beauty triumphs, again and again.

It hosts thousands of park benches, where our friend once slept in the cold, until he passed away after changing us forever.

The House of Hope, where my heart grew until it burst, and I met women I will love forever and ever, who have given me so very much more than I ever gave.

2013-08-08 19.18.23

Irish dance, where my girls worked and gave everything they could for almost two years.

ghillies

The museum and the library that were so warm and welcoming, where we loved to spend our days immersed in wonder.

The mountains.  My mountains.  My sanctuary.  The Rockies, Never Summer, Falcon, Arapahoe, and all of them in-between.  A thousand windows into heaven where I hear the voice of God.

The people.  The good, kind, beautiful people who I will love forever and miss every day.  Loving, generous people.

I could go on and on.

My heart breaks when I think of what I am leaving behind and tears come to my eyes.  But then, in the next moment, somehow, I feel my heart gently letting go of each of these beautiful things that have made me what I am.

I know that I could never let them go if letting go weren’t so very right.

Each of these blessings has changed me forever, but I keep hearing this whisper: there are other things for me to do, equally beautiful and right.  And it’s time to do them.  

Joy and pain are twinborn.  Pain gives way to joy, because so often, we have to give up something in order to receive.

Colorado has changed me in ways I can never explain, and I will be grateful always.

Where are we going next?  Very near here.

P.S. Colorado – I’m coming back for Yoga for Congo, so come see me. :)

 

8 Responses

  1. Mom R

    Beautifully stated (as usual!)–

    There are definitely “season” in our lives, and it is exciting to see your family beginning yet another one! :)

    Love to All!

    August 15, 2013 at 7:13 am

  2. love you!!

    August 15, 2013 at 7:33 am

  3. Carrie Patton

    Very well said. Ann I will miss you and your beautiful family. Please know that my life has been blessed by knowing you:)Carrie

    August 15, 2013 at 3:26 pm

  4. Rachel B

    What?!?! I had no idea! This is so sad….for us. I’m not okay with all these moves in our ward lately. :( This sounds like such an exciting adventure for your family though. You will definitely be missed!!!

    August 15, 2013 at 6:49 pm

  5. Oh my goodness, Ann. So many emotions. Good time are ahead and so many memories to hold so closely on to.

    August 15, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    • Julie

      Leaving a place you love is always difficult. What you are doing for your children is selfless and sacrificial, in one sense, satisfying and fulfilling in another. I, myself, am thrilled at the thought of your marvelous adventure into a wonderland of dreams and wishes. Your children will thrive and grow in their new home…they would anywhere because you are their blessed mother (and I’m pretty darn partial to their daddy, too). I can hardly wait to hug you and meet your cherished daughters! Soon, okay? Love you so.

      August 16, 2013 at 7:34 pm

  6. Debra Domenici

    I absolutely love that area and don’t get there often enough. We will definitely have to come up there soon and visit. Bet of luck on your new adventure!

    August 16, 2013 at 8:21 pm

  7. Liz

    Good luck with your new adventure! This is beautifully stated!

    I love how the Lord blesses us and lets us know what we should do and when we should do it. I know about those little voices. It’s so scary taking that first step. :)

    I am so excited, because Idaho is closer to Utah! I hope I can one day see you soon, and finally meet your beautiful family! :)

    August 17, 2013 at 1:31 am

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