Nighttime pondering

I’ve been in an off-blogging funk lately, probably because all week I’ve just been off inside. It’s been such a confusing week, full of such happiness and blessings, but also full of confusion. Time seems so crucial. Sometimes, I feel like I’m standing still. Other times, I feel like it’s all going too fast. I feel like I’m watching my children grown up before my eyes and I’m not doing everything I need to. Other times, I feel like I am desperately trying to change and grow, and nothing is happening.

Tonight I just couldn’t sleep. My mind is so full of questions, so much wondering. What should we do? What is going to happen?

I got up and did some laundry, but felt drawn to my blog. I went back and started reading. It is astonishing to witness the learning and growth. I can see that right now, nearing the end of a difficult experience, discouragement is coming to my mind, trying to erase what I have learned. It is amazing how discouragement and fear can cloud and try to take away such goodness in us.

Just reading and remembering has helped me to remember something:

I am loved. WE are loved. It’s all going to be just fine. We’ll be led in every step, even when it’s not clear at the moment.

I just wanted to write it down.

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