Line upon line

My mind has been so full lately that it’s been hard to write as much here.  There’s so much I want to say, but no way of saying it all.

I want to stand up.  I want to help.  I want to do more.  I want to live my life and use it up and wear and wring it out in service and love.  I feel like I’ve been given so many second chances that to waste them would be so foolish.

I get so discontent.  So angry at mediocrity.  I have such a hard time living between two lives.  One is ordinary.  The other is extraordinary.  We find ourselves trying to straddle the two and it’s not working very well.   We try to figure out where we fit and how to pick up these five beautiful women we have been given and carry them with us into a fuller life.

Often, I feel like they carry us.

In all of my struggling to figure out how to “make it work,” the answer is always the same.

And I suppose it’s not an answer at all, really.  More a way to live.

(Gotta love the “sun’s in my eyes” squint.  No one does that better than a Richmond.) :)

In our faith, and I am sure many, I suppose, there is a phrase we seem to hear a lot: “Line upon line.” It means that we will be given guidance and direction a piece at a time.  Little by little.  The big picture rarely comes all at once.  This way takes a lot more faith.  But it means a lot more growth, too.

“For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.”

2 Ne. 28:30

I have been given so much.  And as I look back at each turning point in my life, as I tried to love my babies and take care of my family and be the best I could, somehow, the answers came.  Somehow, even though I had nothing left, I was given more.

I may be taking care of them.  But it seems that in reality, they are taking care of me.  Without them, without the difficulties, the frustrations, the lack of sleep and time and sanity, there would be no me.

So I have faith that somehow, in all of my seeking for answers, if I carry them, they will carry me, line by line.  And we will find what we seek.

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