Happy are ye

An incredible change has come over my heart this week as I have studied the Book of John. I have been really studying the Savior’s life lately. This week I learned a great deal about His final hours with his apostles.

We all know He washed their feet. But I had forgotten about Peter. When it comes time for Peter’s turn, he does not want Christ to wash his feet. I think we can imagine how he would feel…this is the Lord and Savior. I think that Peter could not stand the idea of someone he regarded so highly doing such a humble task for his sake. I was immediately struck by my own similarity to Peter.

In my life these past few months, I have felt the Savior quietly entreating me, at times pleading with me, to allow Him to give me help in an area I have never felt I needed help before or ever envisioned myself needing anything. I completely accept the atonement in my life and rely on it every day, every moment. But there are other areas where my pride has been too great, and my heart too unyielding. I have seemed to say, in my own heart, “Thou needest not to wash my feet.”

But, as Christ said to Peter, so I have felt Him say to me:

Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.

Of course we all know what Christ was referring to there, but I feel that His words have an even broader meaning for me in my life. I have not understood before what Christ was actually doing for me by asking me to go through this particular circumstance, but I am beginning to see it now. As He said to Peter, “If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.” I don’t believe that is the rebuke it sounds so much like, but rather a plea…”Please allow me to help you become who you need to be, so you can be as close to Me as possible! You don’t understand now, but you will!”

Christ goes on to entreat His apostles to serve others as He has served them. I have not had nearly as much a struggle in my life giving service as I have had accepting service. When I read that commandment to be Christlike this week, my heart was taught as well that I need to accept the kindness of others more willingly. That has always been difficult for me. But this week I have had tremendously humbling experiences which have made me feel more a “part with [Christ]” than I have ever felt, and it is because I have allowed Him to “wash my feet” by humbling myself more than I ever have and allowing others to serve me in ways I never thought I’d be able to do.

Truly, the Greatest among us is our greatest Servant. And we should serve and love Him with all of our hearts, and I believe that part of that is allowing Him to serve us! As I have struggled to change and to allow Him to “wash my feet” in His own way, I have somehow found joy in the most difficult and humiliating of moments, because I have truly felt that I have a “part with [Him],” and just like his apostles, I know that He loves me “unto the end!”

How kindly He spoke when He said:

If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

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